Interview

The role of a slave in the fetish scene is pretty complex and brings up a lot of questions. In this chat, henry gives us a peek into his life and thoughts as a submissive person. He talks about what it means to serve, how kink fits into his everyday life, and how he handles things like kink-shaming.

Can you explain what the role of a slave means to you?
For me, it’s a beautiful and intense way of surrendering to someone more dominant, without placing any demands. i consciously use the word “more dominant” here instead of titles like Master because people often think someone has to be a harsh, strict Dom to spark my interest. Even someone who enjoys being submissive but feels like an Alpha around me, i will respectfully submit to them just as i would to any other Dominant.In general, i’m wired to always want the people i care about to feel good. In a submissive role, that feeling intensifies even more. It might sound superficial at first, especially if you don’t know someone well yet, but for me, it’s about the feeling itself.

The best example is my service as a chauffeur slave. i didn’t personally know almost any of my passengers. In most cases, it was just a feeling that told me, i want to offer my service to this Sir, this Master, this Dom, or this Alpha. Of course, there were passengers who weren’t interested in having a slave, but still gratefully accepted the service, and others who declined. Even when there was no opportunity to connect with someone on a deeper level, i was able to provide a good service if they wanted it.

This shows clearly how i tick: in my submissive role, it’s not about gaining an advantage for myself, but about serving and knowing that i did something good for exactly that person — without expecting anything in return.

You mentioned picking people up from the airport. How did the idea of the chauffeur slave come about?
It’s amazing to meet people from all over the world again at big events like Folsom or Easter Berlin. But everyone who attends knows how fast those events fly by, and you often only manage a quick “hey” at a bar or on the street.

i wanted to change that and looked for a way to spend a bit of quality time with people without requiring much effort from them. A short moment to do something good for someone, without them missing anything else or feeling pressured.

Remember: as a slave, my goal is to serve someone without putting myself in the spotlight. Many arrive at the airport and still have to get to their hotel — by train, taxi, or sometimes with a grumpy Uber driver. That’s how the idea for the chauffeur slave in gear was born.

i rented a Mercedes V-Class, arranged the seats for enough space, prepared some snacks and soft drinks, and then was able to be the first to say “Welcome to Folsom Berlin” to people like Master Ray, Sir Spot, Master Jack, Master Alex Cody James, and others. Of course, everything was agreed in advance: arrival times, number of people, hotel destinations, how they wanted to be addressed, and individual greetings. Everyone should be treated the way they wanted and felt comfortable with. It allowed me to plan everything perfectly and make their arrival in Berlin as smooth as possible. i could also create a safe space for my guests and know they arrived safely.

Even though i won’t offer this service again in the future, i’m super proud i implemented it like this and could create these short, meaningful connections.
Honestly, i don’t think i could have found a better way to briefly connect during the crowded street fair, where everyone is usually already surrounded and deep in conversations.

Those who know me know i’m not shy or afraid of contact, but my brain just works differently: i hold back so i don’t disturb anyone. i think most of my guests were happy with the chauffeur service, and it was exactly the kind of connection i enjoy too.

What does serving mean to you, and why is it an inner need beyond sex?
For me, serving is about wanting to do something good for someone i find fascinating, look up to, or like — whether we know each other personally or just through good online contact. Helping someone have a pleasant, maybe even better time because of me, without needing to be the center of attention.

i want to immerse myself in what my counterpart wants at that moment.
Everyone is different, and yet people constantly generalise — especially reducing submission to just sex.

But as a submissive, i can do so much more to make someone’s life easier.
One good example is how i’ve changed my behavior towards dates.i’ve always struggled to plan “sessions” or “play dates” because how i act and speak as a slave comes from the heart — it’s not a game for me.
Those scheduled nights always felt unnatural, forced — expectations weren’t met, and disappointment followed. Instead, i started meeting people in their everyday lives. Weekends together often create this pressure to fill 24 hours with activities. Meeting someone during their regular workday is different: maybe they’re working from home, or elsewhere. Meanwhile, i can run errands, help around the house, or explore the city until they’re free.

These meetings have been super interesting and have created very different bonds than a typical “session slave” connection. Still, many reject this because it seems “too complicated.” i don’t want to be misunderstood: i love sex, and i love surrendering sexually as a “trainee.” But i’m not submissive just to kneel and beg for oral sex. That’s why dirty talk or cheap compliments like “sexy pig” don’t do much for me. Sure, i like praise (even if i don’t show it), but i’m even more interested in criticism so i can improve.

If my Dom wants sexual play, he’ll make that clear — otherwise, i simply adapt to his daily life. And that feels amazing 🙂

You just mentioned “trainee.” What do you mean by that?
Even when creating profile names, i struggled to label myself. So i started calling myself a “trainee” in my bios. Why? Because a trainee is always seen as a beginner, someone who can still become anything. It took the pressure off me — i always hated the question, “What experience do you have?” Sure, i had done this or that, but it says nothing about whether i did it well or whether it met someone’s expectations — and i mean the small details, not surface-level sex. By calling myself a trainee, i place no expectations on how others should see me.i’m a perfectionist — i want to do things well — but i’m not perfect. There’s always room to grow. And as a trainee, i can adjust individually to each Dominant, based on what they like and how they want it. Everyone is different, and it’s exciting to discover new sides in people instead of limiting myself with a predefined label.

How do you deal with misunderstandings when others don’t understand or accept your preferences?
Honestly, i don’t think i’ve ever been directly confronted with misunderstanding.However, i do see misunderstandings when people assume that because i’m submissive, i kneel before everyone. Or that because i’m a chauffeur slave, “you can pick me up too.” No. Just no.
When i kneel to greet Sir Spot at the car or kneel in front of Master Ray or Master Jack at a hotel, it holds deep meaning for me — much more than people realize. It would be an insult to those i respect if i did it for everyone.

Submission doesn’t mean giving myself away to just anyone. As i said earlier, something has to click inside me. If that feeling isn’t there, even forced attempts bounce right off me — and then i’m seen as “difficult.” You can’t please everyone.

Considering the challenges of having to explain yourself repeatedly, how do you stay mentally healthy in the fetish scene?
i’ve been on Romeo and Recon for years. i first visited Folsom and Easter Berlin in 2011. At 21, i went to Lab, New Action, and the old Mutschmann’s for the first time. Over the years, i’ve had amazing — and also negative — experiences. i’ve developed a thick skin. Back then, i tried to please everyone, which drained me. 

Eventually, i realised: You can’t please everyone. Now i focus on people who matter to me and make me feel good. i’m more reserved now — not everyone gets instant access to me. i also no longer reply to every “hi.” If someone can’t come up with more than a “hi” after reading my profile, it’s not worth it. It annoys me — and yes, i get labeled as arrogant. Fine.

My brain just works differently. Offhand comments can occupy me for days or weeks. Nowadays, i directly ask people what they meant by something — for clarity, not to be mean. In the past, it used to unsettle me for a long time. Today, i know i’m a cool guy — just a very head-driven one — and you need to be okay with that.

You mentioned dealing with depression. How do you manage it, and what advice would you give others?
First, the diagnosis was crucial. For years i struggled with mood swings, couldn’t even manage a quick trip to the grocery store some days, or didn’t want to go out like before. When i started having very dark thoughts, i woke up internally and began searching for help. My doctor helped refer me to places, but appointments were rare and hard to get. It took almost a year until i finally had my first proper sessions, but they helped. The right questions from therapy kept challenging me long after. Even without further therapy, i learned how to live with it.

Today, i still have “bad days” — but i know what i need then, and i take care of myself. Being self-employed helps: if i’m not feeling it, i don’t answer the phone or emails immediately. i plan lazy days without guilt and catch up on work later. Learning to put myself first was something i had to completely relearn — but it helps immensely.

Kinkshaming is still an issue. Have you experienced your kinks being disrespected? How did you handle it?
Sadly, it’s not just kinkshaming — racism, too, is very real in the scene. Recently, RubberAxel talked about it on Instagram, saying he doesn’t find the leather community welcoming at all, especially for POC. It’s harsh, but true.
A year ago, i did a police internship in Berlin. Since i was 10, i volunteered with the fire department, worked in EMS — so i was curious about the police. You can’t imagine the negative reactions i got from the scene. i was called a fascist by someone who’s even a Recon model. As much as i love the scene — nothing surprises me anymore. 

And yes, kinkshaming is massive. The same people parading half-naked at Pride shouting for tolerance are often the ones gossiping behind others’ backs.
We don’t have to like everything — but we could at least respect each other.

How can we as a community reduce kinkshaming and create a more supportive environment?
It helped me a lot to talk to people about their kinks — to understand why they like something, what it gives them. i hate labels now, and i’m grateful for that because it keeps me open to new experiences. Everyone is different — you never know what could spark new interests. We act like we were all born in leather or rubber. But every fetish started somewhere, often inspired by someone. Since i discovered rubber at the age of 18, the kink scene has evolved so much. 

Instead of mocking, we should stay curious about what’s out there. Not everyone has to like everything, but respect is key — the same respect we demand at demonstrations for ourselves.

A question from Instagram: Do you ever feel overwhelmed by kink? If so, how do you handle it?
No, not really. Because for me kink isn’t just about sex, i can’t get enough of it. When I go out in Berlin, i almost always wear rubber underneath — even to the movies, fashion shows, or exhibitions. Sometimes i even wear my collar while working. It’s not a “weekend thing” for me; it’s part of who i am. i’m not just submissive on weekends — i feel it 24/7. Even in my writing style: my posts, my stories, my whole website are written in lowercase — except when addressing someone personally with “You.” That’s just my way of expressing it. That’s me